Will this sell? Will anyone but me like this? Did I really do a good job? Good enough to expect someone else to pay money for?
The questions that plague my every creation. This sewing thing started as a hobby for me. I needed something to help the transition into the SAHM world. See, I have worked pretty much full time since I was sixteen/seventeen and so to not work came as unnaturally to me as being a mom came naturally (not sure if translated that thought right, I think it sounded better in my
head). But, I am plagued by insecurity. Don't get me wrong, I am passionate about the things I make and the Pink Minky Quilt (with the Joel Dewberry) was one of the first blankets I made and my disappointment grew with each passing month that it sat in my shop unbought, but after months of sitting it sold and I almost cried to have to pack it up and send it away. However, I have a split personality...a Type A side and a Type B side. It is the Type A side that fuels the insecurity. I see things in the items I make...little things, imperfections, "character" if you will. That
make me question if I am truly a legitimate artist/crafter/seamstress whatever. At times, I get a vibe from certain places that I am merely a "poser" if you will. I have no training in my craft, I am entirely self taught (well not entirely, there was that one pattern and patchwork pillow I made umpteen years ago in freshmen Home Ec.). I am not a proclaimed artist. And I battle these demons with each piece I make...especially the custom pieces, that someone chose me (picked me) to make.
I'll bid on a project and hope and hope I get it. Then, when the
notice comes that my bid was accepted, I am ecstatic (somebody likes me, really likes me) but then the Type A side says "Wait a minute...do you really think you are skilled enough to charge this person to do something that is just a hobby?" And then the nerves set in...will I get it done in time...will it be perfect (that elusive condition)...will the buyer be happy (never had a negative comment or unhappy customer, but...)
But, I persist on, each creation better than the last...improving each imperfection so I don't have to fret it on the next project...at times even admiring what I have done and actually wishing I could keep it for myself (I need to sell the pieces I make in order to continue
being able to make pieces since I have chosen not to win bread, but to
stay home and raise my children). I take glee in the positive feedback and the votes of confidence from strangers on this vast world of bits and bytes and digital signals (because who can trust the positive feedback from friends and family who love and care about you?)
Well, that was probably waaaayyyy more information than I needed to share, but I still felt the need to share my "process" if you will. I would love to read your comments on this...anyone else feel this way? ...how do you cope with it? ...think I am completely over analytic to say the lease?